爱自己的人自带光芒(精) - 5589

$999.99

无数鸡汤文中写道:你要学会爱自己,别人才会爱你。可是,无论这个道理有多正确,你有多认同,实际生活中的你依然做不到。不是因为你努力不够,也不是你的问题如何根深蒂固,你只是需要一套更清晰的自助指南。在英国心理咨询师雅基·马森看来,你之所以踏不出爱自己的一步,是因为内心深处不能接受现在的自己。你习惯于将全部能量用于温暖他人、赢得他人的认可,而且一旦停止这样做,就会觉得非常内疚,仿佛受了一场"圣母诅咒"。在《爱自己的人自带光芒》这本书里,雅基·马森分享了"圣母们"自我治疗和心灵成长的故事,并从心理学的专业角度阐述怎样才算真正的爱自己:你有权表达自己的感受、意见及价值观。你有权做自己。你有权说"不"。你有权犯错误。你有权把自己放在前排。你有权不依赖别人的认可。……当你能够行使上述权力,你就开始爱自己了。爱自己的人自带光芒,别人的认可、欣赏、尊重是吸引来的,而不是乞讨来的。本书获选:豆瓣2016年度读书榜单网易女人节特别策划推荐书单罗近月高级婚姻家庭咨询师/国家二级心理咨询师/壹心理专栏作家即使作为一个执业的心理咨询师,经过无数次的被分析和自我分析之后,我也还能从这本书中看到自己。特立独行的猫青年作家/代表作《不要让未来的你,讨厌现在的自己》如果不想办法解除"圣母型人格"这个"诅咒",你的人生终将被摧毁。这么远那么近广告人/作家/电台主播/国家二级心理咨询师正能量的话里经常说的是什么,爱人先学会爱自己,努力就会成功,明天会更好。但都是结果论,方法论的问题不在鸡汤的范畴之内,于是被许多人诟病,在这本书里,却有着类似于自救的方式方法,并且有效果。我们习惯了满足他人的期望,却又在某一时刻感到自己被拖累了,而那些帮助我们满足他人期望的能力就成了改变现状的阻碍。被诅咒的一天我们先假设"圣母"的一天是这样过的,来帮助你判断一下自己是否也是如此。早晨,"圣母"醒了,准备沏一杯茶,听听收音机,洗个澡,穿好衣服,吃个早饭,然后去上班或开始这一天的活动。在理想的世界中,时间完全属于自己,可以悠闲地完成下面一项或全部任务:不慌不忙地用漂亮的茶壶泡一壶叶茶,在气味芳香的泡沫浴中放松自己,细心地挑选一套让自己感觉愉快并自信的衣服,再挑一双搭配的鞋子,鞋子要舒服……然而,现实却是,某个小家伙(或者也不算是小家伙的人)在大声呼唤:"我的蓝色套头衫哪去了?"而另一个家伙则想知道为什么冰箱里没有牛奶了;姑妈刚刚打电话来,拜托"圣母"临时去看看奶奶,她是这样说的:"她身边连个人都没有,可怜的人啊!"还有一位朋友发来了短信,说她迫切地需要找个人聊聊,因为她的男朋友已经二十四小时没回她电话了。短短几分钟,刚醒来时的小小幻想变成了可笑的事,而"圣母"已经抛开自己的基本需求,转而去为其他人服务了。每天早晨,不吃早饭,随意穿双夹脚的鞋子就出门,头发上还残留着免洗洗发剂。他们已经习惯这样了,尽管饿着肚子,有些厌烦,还有点儿邋遢。但他们会自我安慰地想,至少他们已经照顾好其他所有人,每个人都很开心,其他人那点儿潜在的坏心情终究没被点燃,家里没有大喊大叫,也没有人使脸色。而在更深的情感层面(也可能是潜意识中),他们有一种安全感,觉得他们会得到大家的爱,因为他们照顾了每一个人。抑或,
ASIN: B0713T47HD
VSKU: DBV.B0713T47HD.A
Condition: Acceptable
Author/Artist:[英] 雅基·马森 王丽
Binding: Hardcover
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