If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth

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About this item

This therapist-written and recommended 3-part book will give you the insights and strategies to understand the inner workings of a narcissist, heal from narcissistic abuse, and experience sustainable post-traumatic growth. In relationships, have you ever found yourself: Feeling like something is "off," but not being able to explain why? Leaving conversations feeling more confused than when you started them? Mentally rehearsing the "best" way to bring something up so your partner won't get mad? Constantly ruminating on how to "make sense" of what you feel and what's happening? Trying every communication strategy, but nothing seems to work? Feeling "not enough" no matter how hard you try? Narcissistic abuse creates a tidal wave of confusion, hypervigilance, and overthinking. You have trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, or taking in new information. You feel frazzled, foggy, and flawed. And because these changes are happening to you-you begin to wonder: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make this relationship work? Am I fundamentally broken? And that's exactly how narcissistic abuse works-it happens so subtly that you believe the insecurities you're experiencing are "you" instead of "what's happening" to you. You think there's something wrong with you. You think you need to change or get better. You think they'll grow out of it. You think no one else understands. Narcissistic abuse is a multilayered attack on your sense of self-a dismantling of who you are and what you believe you're worth. This book covers unique information related to narcissistic abuse, including: How different narcissistic types love bomb Cognitive, emotional, behavioral, and physiological warning signs that you're being abused How and why narcissistic trauma bonds form and the process to untangle yourself from these binding relationships How to set boundaries even if you're an empath or highly sensitive person The most common reasons you stay stuck and how to get "unstuck" If you've ever wondered: How did I get into this relationship? I didn't experience an intense love-bombing phase-are they still a narcissist? I'm such a people pleaser-how can I set better boundaries? What if healing isn't possible for me? I feel so lost and broken-where do I even start? This book is for you! Praise for If Only I'd Known! "Chelsey is able to describe exactly what I went through and what others have endured in a concise way. It is so important for mental health professionals to shine a light on this insidious form of domestic violence so that our clients, readers, and followers can get the validation and support that they so desperately need. She is an advocate for trauma survivors and her writing will help so many people to become empowered and heal." -Vanessa Reiser, LCSW, Narcissistic/Cult Abuse Expert "If you've ever been touched by a toxic workplace, tyrannical boss, or undermining colleague, you need this book. With clinical expertise, relatable stories, and fresh insights, Chelsey helps us all recognize, recover, and resist narcissistic individuals at every level." -Dorie Clark, Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Long Game and executive education faculty, Columbia Business School
ASIN: B0C6XT19Z4
VSKU: DBV.B0C6XT19Z4.G
Condition: Good
Author/Artist:Cole, Chelsey Brooke
Binding: Paperback
Note: Any images shown are stock photographs and product may differ from what is shown.
Condition Notes: Gently used with minimal wear on the corners and cover. A few pages may contain light highlighting or writing, but the text remains fully legible. Dust jacket may be missing, and supplemental materials like CDs or codes may not be included. May be ex-library with library markings. Ships promptly!
Note on Condition

Most of the items in our store are used. The item's condition grade is indicated near the bottom of the product description. If you have any questions regarding specific details of an item, please contact us. We use the following rating scale:

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  • Used - Very Good: Item may have minor cosmetic defects (marks, wears, cuts, bends, crushes) on the cover, spine, pages or dust cover. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may contain remainder marks on outside edges, which should be noted in listing comments. Item may be missing bundled media. 
  • Used - Good: All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. Gently used ex-library books with library stickers and markings may be classified as good. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may be missing bundled media. 
  • Used - Acceptable: All pages and the cover are intact, but shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Pages may include limited notes, highlighting, or minor water damage but the text is readable. Item may but the dust cover may be missing. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting, but the text cannot be obscured or unreadable.

CDs/DVDs/Discs:

  • Used - Good: Case may be damaged or come repackaged. Disc may have up to 1.5cm marking but is in great working condition. 
  • Used - Acceptable: A product with extensive external signs of wear, but is in great working condition. The case may be damaged. The cover art, liner, notes, or other inclusion may be marked, or one or all of these items may be missing.
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