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The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling

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About this item

What is it like to grow up with a sibling who is difficult or damaged? Few bonds in our lives are as psychologically and emotionally significant as the ones we share with our sisters and brothers, although little has been written about this formative relationship. In this first-of-its-kind book, psychotherapist Jeanne Safer takes us into the hidden world of problem siblings and explores the far-reaching effects on the lives of those who are considered the “normal ones.” Drawing on more than sixty interviews with normal, or intact, siblings, Safer explores the daunting challenges they face, and probes the complex feelings that can strain families and damage lives. A “normal” sibling herself, Safer chronicles her own life-shaping experiences with her troubled brother. She examines the double-edged reality of normal ones: how they both compensate for their siblings’ abnormality and feel guilty for their own health and success. With both wisdom and empathy, she delineates the “Caliban Syndrome,” a set of personality traits characteristic of higher-functioning siblings: premature maturity, compulsion to achieve, survivor guilt, and fear of contagion. Essential reading for normal ones and those who love them, this landmark work offers readers insight, compassion, and tools to help resolve childhood pain. It is a profound and eye-opening examination of a subject that has too long been shrouded in darkness.
ASIN: 0385337566
VSKU: DBV.0385337566.G
Condition: Good
Author/Artist:Safer, Jeanne
Binding: Paperback
Note: Any images shown are stock photographs and product may differ from what is shown.
Condition Notes: Gently used with minimal wear on the corners and cover. A few pages may contain light highlighting or writing, but the text remains fully legible. Dust jacket may be missing, and supplemental materials like CDs or codes may not be included. May be ex-library with library markings. Ships promptly!
Note on Condition

Most of the items in our store are used. The item's condition grade is indicated near the bottom of the product description. If you have any questions regarding specific details of an item, please contact us. We use the following rating scale:

Books:

  • Used - Very Good: Item may have minor cosmetic defects (marks, wears, cuts, bends, crushes) on the cover, spine, pages or dust cover. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may contain remainder marks on outside edges, which should be noted in listing comments. Item may be missing bundled media. 
  • Used - Good: All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. Gently used ex-library books with library stickers and markings may be classified as good. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may be missing bundled media. 
  • Used - Acceptable: All pages and the cover are intact, but shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Pages may include limited notes, highlighting, or minor water damage but the text is readable. Item may but the dust cover may be missing. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting, but the text cannot be obscured or unreadable.

CDs/DVDs/Discs:

  • Used - Good: Case may be damaged or come repackaged. Disc may have up to 1.5cm marking but is in great working condition. 
  • Used - Acceptable: A product with extensive external signs of wear, but is in great working condition. The case may be damaged. The cover art, liner, notes, or other inclusion may be marked, or one or all of these items may be missing.
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