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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

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About this item

“Perel is a master at what she does.” ―The New Yorker “[Perel] knows the depth of your shame and the vibrancy of your lust.”- The New York Times From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience―universally forbidden yet universally practiced―is poorly understood. Why do people cheat―even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? For a decade, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with cheating. In this illuminating book, she weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis to provide insights and answers to help couples survive and thrive. Betrayal hurts, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage―with the same person. Affairs, Perel argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships―what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern relationships in its many variations. “Esther Perel is widely recognized as the world’s leading expert on marriage.”- Sunday Times Style “A fresh look at infidelity.” - Los Angeles Review of Books “Perel―a whip-smart emotional savant who pierces through human defenses with the efficiency of a surgeon―is a wonder to behold.”- Huffington Post “She doesn’t peddle in bromides or offer a shoulder to cry on―she’s too busy trying to shake you to your senses, insisting on your agency, your vitality, and your complicity in what happens in your marriage.” - The New York Times “[The State of Affairs] explores a vast landscape of the adulterous terrain . . . in a way that’s deeply humane and never preachy.” - NPR
ASIN: 0062322591
VSKU: DBV.0062322591.G
Condition: Good
Author/Artist:Perel, Esther
Binding: Paperback
Note: Any images shown are stock photographs and product may differ from what is shown.
Condition Notes: Gently used with minimal wear on the corners and cover. A few pages may contain light highlighting or writing, but the text remains fully legible. Dust jacket may be missing, and supplemental materials like CDs or codes may not be included. May be ex-library with library markings. Ships promptly!
Note on Condition

Most of the items in our store are used. The item's condition grade is indicated near the bottom of the product description. If you have any questions regarding specific details of an item, please contact us. We use the following rating scale:

Books:

  • Used - Very Good: Item may have minor cosmetic defects (marks, wears, cuts, bends, crushes) on the cover, spine, pages or dust cover. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may contain remainder marks on outside edges, which should be noted in listing comments. Item may be missing bundled media. 
  • Used - Good: All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. Gently used ex-library books with library stickers and markings may be classified as good. Shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Item may be missing bundled media. 
  • Used - Acceptable: All pages and the cover are intact, but shrink wrap, dust covers, or boxed set case may be missing. Pages may include limited notes, highlighting, or minor water damage but the text is readable. Item may but the dust cover may be missing. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting, but the text cannot be obscured or unreadable.

CDs/DVDs/Discs:

  • Used - Good: Case may be damaged or come repackaged. Disc may have up to 1.5cm marking but is in great working condition. 
  • Used - Acceptable: A product with extensive external signs of wear, but is in great working condition. The case may be damaged. The cover art, liner, notes, or other inclusion may be marked, or one or all of these items may be missing.
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